When the doctor tells you he can't believe you're even walking...

So I've been suffering from hip pain for a while but chalked it up to the on again off again run training I've been doing or just the fact that the wear and tear on my body was finally becoming apparent. But the other day, after a 30 mile bike ride, when I couldn't get my leg over the bike to dismount..I figured there was something wrong.

So I went to the doc, who agreed, who then sent me for and MRI...which revealed I am pretty banged up. So much so that he actually looked at me open-eyed and said "I don't even understand how you're even walking right now". UGH. Then, when I said what if I quit running and he responds with "no matter what, you need surgery".

So this is the skinny: as I've been suffering from hip pain for a couple years and it wasn't getting better AND now that I'm trying to get back to real training and the pain was getting way worse, the doc scheduled an MRI. The results came back and I have a torn labrum, severe femur/pelvis bone edema and a misshapen femoral head due to extended impact. 

Seems the crash back at Timberman and the resulting hip pain wasn't from a modified body position on the rest of the 47mi bike and 13.1 mi run...it was because I hit so hard that I punched the head of the femur through the labrum. Sure there was a huge cantaloupe-sized edema on the hip but I was way more focused on the rib pain and trying to breathe and finish the race to notice at the time. Then I spent the next 2 years continually banging it up, spending the day after races in bed to recover because the pain was so bad or even abandoning races all together because I couldn't physically continue (if you know me...you know it must've been bad for me to stop).

This is just the cap of a very frustrating last couple years. I went from being at my peak, racing 20+ races a year and ending up on podiums to a string of setbacks: injured, flu, emergency appendectomy/recovery, flu, lung infection, the heart rate spikes, the gut stuff and now this. And just to be clear, I was not trying to be a hard ass and fight through it. If I had ANY inclination that I was really injured, I would've had it taken care of right away! Honestly, I'm just gutted. The thought of not only ANOTHER surgery but the 4 month (or longer) recovery, hopefully coming back to 100% and then starting back at square one with training again is a little daunting. Maybe I'll just focus on becoming a better swimmer or look into becoming a wheelchair athlete. I am working on a huge list of movies to watch/re-watch. Now pondering a path forward...