It was my shame but now it's my pride...

As I write this I am still short the goal money I needed to raise for my charity in order to run the Boston Marathon. I was able to run (obviously) but the bill is going to come due and I'm still over $1,000 short. I'd appreciate any and all contributions. No amount is too small. If you are so inclined/motivated to donate just hit the button at the top right of my blog and thank you in advance. 

It has taken a long time for me to come to grips with the 2011 Boston Marathon. To be honest it took all my desire to train and race, hard or otherwise completely away. I have been embarrassed and ashamed of that race and my performance, or lack thereof, so I've done everything I could to not think or talk about it and move on. Then I ran across this picture in a stack of racing photos and numbers. I hate this picture. I hated it when I turned the corner and saw the cameraman taking it, I hated it when I saw it on the "proof page" for marathon photo and I hated it when it came in the mail. I ordered it however because it is an image that truly portrays how I felt from mile 13 on.

You can read about my Boston Marathon in an earlier blog post on here but a quick BLUF (bottomline up front) is that is sucked. Not sucked as in "aw, man I'm not gonna get a PR" but sucked as in "I'm so angry and in so much pain that hate everything and want to find a puppy or baby to strangle (don't worry, no children or animal were harmed during the course of my marathon)".

I will be honest and tell you that I work very hard for no one to see me in pain or struggling especially when it comes to races. I was taught as a young cyclist thats okay to be in pain...but no one shoukd ever know you're hurting lest they attack. I would love nothing better to be a machine when it comes to training and racing, able to drop a 6 or 6:30 mile pace at any distance on any day but that's not the case. When it doesn't go my way I just lock my jaw and push through. Which, in hindsight, is probably why I look constipated in most if not all of my race photos and most days at my desk ( in hindsight maybe that's why I always get those weird looks at work).

I do think however that weakness is not in the body but in the mind. The only reason you can finish well or even finish at all in some cases is because you believe you can and tell your body you will. Unfortunately for me it feels as if I have spent most of my life in damn near any of my pursuits, athletic or not, having to put my head down and telling myself to get it done no matter what. That certainly was the case with Boston. My race systematically fall apart as the miles went on. I cramped up, threw up and blew up but the thought of not finishing NEVER crossed my mind. I saw people fall down, pass out and give up all around me. I just put my head down and knew I'd suffer whatever I had to in order to finish. The face in that picture shows it.

I hated this picture...and now...I love this picture.

My 2011 Boston Marathon, there wasn't the thrill of victory but there was the agony of defeat...

Although the Boston Marathon is over, I still have yet to raise the required amount of money needed for the charity I ran for. As of today I'm still $1,000 short of my required goal. I was lucky enough to get an extension to the 18th of May to hit my mark. I'd appreciate any and all contributions. No amount is too small. If you are so inclined/motivated to donate, please click the donate button at the top right of my blog and thank you in advance. Now onto the race recap...


Okay, I’ve been way overdue for race reports (I have a few in the hopper) but wanted to get this one out since it was fresh in my mind. I could, and probably will, write up an entire post about the Athlete’s village, all the people and the spectacle that is the Boston Marathon but I’m just focusing on the race and me for this post. I guess where to start with all this is that I drove into Boston last year to see the marathon expo before the 214^th edition of the Boston Marathon to see what all the hubbub was about.  I will tell you as I walked around the expo and saw all the booths and all the people participating I thought to myself "hey, I can do this". I’m fit, I’m fast and have a mileage base. I've done marathons, there’s no reason without training I couldn’t run a decent marathon time even if it was the “historic” Boston. There was a lot going on in my life at the time so I just kinda kept the desire and inner monologue to myself for months. Then while out running a local 5k with J, I mentioned wanting to run the marathon in passing. Her mom made some calls and then told me she knew how I could get a number if I wanted to run and then this quest was underway.

I have run marathons (quite a few actually) but it had been years (again, quite a few actually) since I’d run my last. There was a time when I and a group of friends in college ran marathons because it was something to do on the weekends and a reason to take trips. There was little “serious training” applied toward those events. Because of who I am and all the Army Ranger training, I have become very accomplished at being able to put my head down, fighting through the pain and finishing. That was how I got through most of those marathons, but this was Boston, the crown jewel of marathons, and I wanted this to be a special race. I wanted to not necessarily have an easy race but I didn’t want it to be a grueling slugfest to the end.

So, I got a coach and a training plan and went to work. While that “structured” marathon training started at 8 weeks out, I thought I had a great fitness base to go forward. I did all my workouts at the ties prescribed or faster. I won’t go into the week by week breakdown but 3 big things I think that are noteworthy during the training were my “long run” of 21 miles (that was completed at a 7:46 pace. I did bonk, like huge crash and burn bonk at the end, but made it through), I got the flu and missed 5 training days the week after that long run, and the 13mi training run (finished in 1:36)  8 days before the marathon (the 21 and 13 mile runs were on the Boston course). I felt good, prepared but little antsy the taper week leading up to Boston. I will say that I thought a “bad day” would have me running a 3:30 or 3:45 marathon but I thought that with my training and average pace throughout the training, I should hit in the 3:20s on race day.

My plan was to lay back and just deal with getting through the mass of humanity in the first few miles. I was in Wave 3, in the 6^th of 9 corrals. There were A LOT of people in front of me. I thought that would work in my favor. I have a tendency to go out fast for every race so this would force me to slow down, focus on navigating through people and get some space so I could settle into my pace and run.  I figured that would probably take me 2 or 3 miles, 4 at the worst and then I’d settle into a 7:45 pace.

I got a call from my coach the night prior to the race with a new plan. Run the first 8-10 miles at an 8 minute pace, run up to the 20 mile mark at 7:50s and then either hold that pace for that last 10k or use up what I had left in the tank for the finish. The purpose being it would hold me in check during the “downhill” portion of the marathon and give me legs to get through the uphill section to 21 without bonking. I will say that this new plan completely freaked me out and I said as much. I am very much a creature of habit. I train as I fight (there’s the Army creeping in again) so if I train at 7:45s then that’s how I’ll run. Now I need to run to a new pace. Because I wasn’t accustomed to the 8 minute mile, I was afraid I’d expend precious energy in the early part of the race “chasing the pace” (i.e. would look down and see 7:45, know that was too fast, layoff the gas, hit 8:10 then need to speed up to hit 8s) but that was the plan and I'm a good soldier so let’s go with it.

So come the following morning, I step across the line in Hopkinton and the race begins:

First five miles: 8:52, 8:00, 7:51, 7:54. 8:09
Like I said I knew the 1st mile or 2 would be a toss up because of all the people. I spent alot of time weaving between bodies and trying to find a "clean" running lane. Every time I glanced down to see my pace I was at a 7:45, plan was to hold 8's so I'd slow down to get there and then like clockwork I'd fall to 8:05 or 8:10 and have to speed up again. It was really nice to see my chiropractor Dr. G on the sidewalk cheering me on. If not for him keeping this bag of bones together I don't know if I could've done Boston at all. But I was really focused on my pace so I could only gave him a quick nod. As you can see by the pace breakdown, I was working very hard to get to and stay on 8 minute miles. I felt good, not great. It was warm. Granted it was in the mid 50's but when you live in MA and the normal temps were in the 40's...it felt warm.

Miles 6-10: 7:52, 7:59, 8:00, 7:53, 7:58
The only thing I was focused on was trying to hit 8 minute miles. It was a challenge to say the least. I was constantly looking down at my pace to see where I was and constantly adjusting to try to stay on 8's. I hit the 8 mile mark and realized I wasn't feeling great so I figured holding 8 minute miles out to the 10 mark might give me some time to recover and worst case I'd make that my pace for the rest of the marathon and end up with a finish time in the 3:30's. I had a friend hand me a carbo drink at the 9 mile mark and I sipped away at that over the next 2 miles.

Miles 11-15: 8:18, 8:22, 8:38, 8:44, 9:04
I hit the 11 mile mark and was tired. I felt as if I'd been running for a lot longer than 11 miles. I think that the energy I expended chasing that 8 mile pace for the first 10 miles physically and mentally exhausted me. That amount of energy should've gotten me to 18 or 19 and here I was only at 11. Ugh. The only highlight was having my personal cheering section. I didn't realize it but my yoga teacher Maria was on the sidewalk and jumped 10 feet in the air when she saw me. That might have put the only smile on my face for the race. Just before 13, while running through Wellesley I didn't feel well.  In the midst of having a "I wonder why I don't feel well" discussion with myself, I threw up. In stride mind you because I wasn't gonna slow down for nothing! I was happy to have at least got a "...did you see that guy throw up and keep running? That was awesome!" yelled from some girl on the side of the street. I felt a little better but it took a little out of me as you can see my pace slowed after that. I knew that my new focus would be to replenish water and electrolytes because of what I was losing/just lost.

Miles 16-20: 8:55, 9:43, 10:50, 10:06, 11:11
I made sure I grabbed water and Gatorade at each mile marker (as in stride as possible) and sipped them to replenish. I knew that J was just on the other side of 17 with another carbo drink so I had the bonus of not only getting some fuel but also seeing a friendly face with words of encouragement to perk me up to look forward to. As the picture can attest, I needed all the perking up I could get. I was exhausted. There is something to be said when you realize this and STILL have 9.2 miles of running left to go. I just leaned forward and kept going. After the 17 mile mark is where you turn right at the fire station in Newton and head uphill. After cresting that hill I threw up again. This is where I had a moment of panic. I tried hard to get back to running a decent pace but throwing up again made me quickly realize I was gonna lose/losing the hydration/electrolyte balance that is so key to long distance events. My focus immediately changed. It went from a "let's keep this pace or that pace" kind of operation to a "lets focus on what's important and salvage what we can" type of operation. For those of you that now me or know the story, this was the 2009 Chicago Triathlon all over again (that one however was because of an error with the events staff/organizers). I had to now make sure I grabbed water and Gatorade at every mile marker from here on out to try and limit the damage.

Miles 21-25: 12:28, 10:46, 11:59, 12:16, 12:52
Now I'm just struggling to get back in any kind of running rhythm. You can see that miles 19-21 I went 10's, 11's and 12's minute pace respectively. At mile 21 I threw up again. Now, there is nothing left in the tank. I'm fighting through nausea (ever time I tried to pick up the pace I fought the urge to vomit so I'd lay off the gas), muscle cramping/seizing and I'm angry. I mean really angry (about a long list of things but this really isn't the forum for that discussion). For those of you that don't know me...welcome to MY fuel. Unfortunately, I am great at performing angry. I have the ability to turn off the world, focus on what I'm most mad about and that can, and has, got me through everything difficult in my life to the finish. When other people give up or quit, I can run on angry vapors forever. So time to buckle down and go down swinging. I got the pace back down in the 10's and then 11's, 12's respectively again. I saw the infamous Citgo sign and knew I was close to the end, so I gave it everything I had left. You know my motto..."you can throw up at the end". Sure I threw up 3 times already but I'm sure I had something left. Mile 26 went down at an 11:54 pace, that .2 mile end of the race was run at a 10:05 pace and my 2011 Boston Marathon was over. I will tell you that one of the main things that kept me going toward the end was knowing I'd get to add the very desirable,  and in my opinion the my very much earned, Boston marathon medal to my collection. That is why there's a smile creeping into my face.


I was and still am disappointed. My goal was never "just to finish". Hell, for those of you that know me...not finishing is never an option. I would've crossed the finish line with pneumonia and on two bloody stumps if I had to (ya, ask me about that forced road march in Ranger School). My goal was to have what I deemed to be a respectable time for me. I'm embarrassed by that overall time and by my pace throughout the second half of the marathon. Those aren't my numbers. That is only applicable to me. Everyone has their own pace for their own events but those aren't the kind of numbers I expect for myself. I firmly believe that if you aren't disappointed when you don't accomplish your goal, therein lies failure. My body has recovered. The day after Boston I logged a 21 mph bike ride and I'm back running again. I hope if the weather holds this weekend I can go out for an 8 or 10 mile run on Sunday. I don't know what to think moving forward. I will continue to train and race. I don't know if I want to do another marathon or if I have any desire to do Boston again, only time will tell.

And let me just clear this up before I get the standard "this is just one race" or "its not failure but what you learn from it" crap. I've had 7 surgeries, a broken back, a broken pelvis, broken more other bones than I desire to count, had spinal meningitis and kidney stones, and a very successful career and as Airborne Ranger leader while dealing with all that and the Army STILL had to tell me "thanks for playing but you can't do this anymore" and medically board me out for me to discontinue my service. Three years ago I weighed 245 pounds, had a size 38 waist and dragged my ass back into the gym to get back in shape and start being competitive again. I'm now normally around 168 pounds and frequently turn a sub-6 minute mile. I'm a walking poster child for "knocking the dust off and getting back up".

Right now I think I'm gonna get back to the type and frequency of training that allowed me to pick any race on a weekend and do well. I will always fight on to the next Ranger Objective...

The "Old Fashioned 10 Miler". The only thing "old fashioned" was the pain.

Of course I must remind you that I'm running the Boston Marathon this year on a charity number so I need to raise money in order to participate. If you are so inclined/motivated please click the donate button at the top right of my blog to donate to my cause and thank you in advance. Now onto the bloggy.

I have been struggling with not starting too fast and working hard to keep a steady pace while racing. If anything my posts, tweets, and Facebook status have showed you is I'm the "go as hard as you can" guy. Problem is you can get away with that for a 5k but once you stretch out to 10ks and beyond the idea of this mythical notion of "pace" becomes more and more important. The first 10k of my season, appropriately enough on New Years' Day (what better way to start the year I thought) I went out to turn the 1st mile in around 6 minutes and spent the race of the race trying to "settle" down. That effort led me to slowing down and being caught by very people I blew past at the start.

So being the good student, I decided to pick a long race a week in advance no less, as opposed to a couple days before which is my norm, and seeing if I could start "slow" and run a steady paced event. The race of the day was the "Old Fashioned 10 Miler" held in Foxborough MA. Luckily for me, one of my coworkers was running the race too and was hoping to run an 8-8:15min pace. How better to start well and then run negatives throughout I thought than to start with her? So, a light mile run to the start. Ya, I had no idea it was that far from the registration area but it was a great reason to get warmed up and tune the HR. We pushed our way along still iced over 3 foot snow banks to finally make our way to the front of the pack for the start. There we a lot of people racing today. A lot? Over 500 ran the event.

So while chatting about a run strategy with my coworker, the gun went off and the race was on. The course billed itself as "2 flat miles, 6 rolling miles and 2 flat miles". It may have been billed that way but couldn't be further from the truth. We were running uphill before even hitting the first mile marker. A quick glance down showed my HR at about 145 and we ran the first mile in 7:51. That's the slowest 1st mile I've run in a race in a long, very long time but I felt great! Pushing toward mile 2 my coworker said she was going too fast and was gonna lay of the gas. Goodbyes exchanged, we parted ways. I settled into a comfortable pace and the next thing I realize I hit mile 3 in 20 minutes. Guess I was feeling feel pretty good. Now it was all about keeping this comfortable pace and staying warm. Oh ya, did I forget to mention it was wicked cold?! We're talking 17degrees kiddies and with an equally wicked wind, the temp dipped down to the low teens. Brr, just brr.

This was a race of firsts all around. This race also had me wearing the most clothing I've ever worn for a race too. Nike head sock, Nike running gloves, under armor cold gear shirt, long sleeve t shirt, my new Polar running singlet and, and, and my new polar running jacket. Yes, it was cold kiddies. At one point I thought of taking off my jacket, rolling it up and running with it in my hand but then I'd hit a strip of shadowed road or a good gust would hit me and I thought better.

So while alternating opening and closing my jacket in rider to regulate heat I noticed a funny thing....I was actually ticking off miles at a steady 7:30 pace. Miles 4, 5, 6 ticked away and then toward the end of mile 7 was "the hill". Everest it was not but it was a climb nonetheless. So much so, you could almost hear my fellow runners' collective "pop" when they hit it. So if they hill is slowing them down then it's time to pump my arms and pass them. Which, I did like a champ however once I hit the top of the hill my hurt felt like it was gonna explode. A quick glance down to my Polar FT7 heart rate monitor showed my heart rate hit a dizzyingly high 236bpm. Less dizzy than black spot seeing which made me realize I need to adjust HR zones based on a massive max HR.

I have never been so happy to see a mile marker, even it it was only mile 8, even having 2 more to go.Mile 8 was tough however. I tried very hard to maintain my pace while getting my heart to settle down. Then there was mile 9. There is a certain happiness that comes from knowing you're closing in on the finish and it's only 7 to 7:30 minutes away. I wasn't familiar with the course so I gingerly started to get faster for fear theee was some dumb hill around the corner or I might gas out. After a few minutes I heard heard a local runner say there was about half a mile left so I tried to pick it up. I finished strong, crossing the line in 1:16:00 and flashed my new Polar togs with pride. I finished 138th overall out of 512, 118th male and 30th in my age group. Oh ya, this race seemed to be a training race for everybody in the Boston Athletic Association or ANYBODY who's racing Boston
So, first 10 miler in the bag (my first so it was a PR) with a decent result. Now I wonder if I can find another before the Army 10 Miler in October :)

Defeat oftens begins with de feet...

Yes, I've decided to take on the extra challenge of trying to come up with a witty title for my posts. Hopefully it'll be one of many reason you keep coming back to check out my blog.

And...I would be remiss if I didn't remind you that I'm running the Boston Marathon this year on a charity number so I need to raise money in order to participate. If you are so inclined/motivated please click the donate button at the top right of my blog to donate to my cause and thank you in advance.

Now onto the blogging goodness...

When it comes to foot care and chafe relief, I've tried everything I can get my hands on. Having served as an Airborne Ranger Infantryman through my Army career, I lived on my feet. We routinely did 12, 20 and 30 mile road marches in addition to long morning runs for physical fitness. Keeping my feet in shape and preventing abrasion/chafing practically became a second job. Now that I run,ride and swim so much the quest has continued...until I was turned onto Everstride and their high performance skin care products for athletes.

Their Pro Foot Therapy is not greasy to the touch, gets absorbed by the skin fast and most importantly helps PREVENT blisters and chafing AND repairs and restores damaged skin. You read that correctly, prevents and repairs. I put a thin coat on my feet before a long run and another after the post run shower. I can tell you that my feet have never felt better and I've NEVER been blister or callus
free...until now! Because of all the time I spend in the pool (you know that chlorine leaches the moisture out of your skin) and the extreme cold training my skin has to endure during New England winters, I thought I'd try the cream as body moisturizer too. I was blown away that it was just as effective!

They also make an Anti-Chafing Sport stick too (yes, you now have competition Body Glide!).  Just rub it on any of the places you'd want relief; back of heels, thighs, arms (bra areas for you ladies) and you're friction free. And like their Foot Therapy its greaseless and I've had no issue with it easily washing out of clothes or gear.

They also have an nail anti-fungal solution that I'm trying out but thats for a later post...

So...because I love their product so much, the folks over at Everstride were nice enough to give me a coupon code that I could share with my readers/followers. Just head over to their website, buy any of their awesome products and use the code Ranger20 at checkout. That code will not only give you 20% off your ENTIRE order but they will ALSO donate a portion of the sales to the charity I'm supporting with my running of the 2010 Boston Marathon!

Now to get this thing started...I'm running the Boston Marathon and could use your help.

Okay, I've had a number of people ask me why don't I, of all people, not have a blog. The truthful answer is that I have run a number of blogs/websites in the past and know how labor intensive they can be. Also, to be honest, I was concerned that if I started posting my workouts I would be ridiculed by everyone for not training correctly or enough or too much. But...to hell with that I say, my training life is an open book for all to poke fun and comment upon.

I am hoping that this blog will be a place where I can talk about my training, training in general, products and my successes and or failures in an effort to share what I'm doing and to keep me motivated throughout the 2011 season. Throw in my candor, twisted sense of humor and the fact that I seem to only have 2 speeds, 0 or 100mph and I think this blog will be entertaining at the very least.

Speaking of staying motivated...I'm planning on keeping the year jam packed with events. I'm up to about 20 races ranging from: 5ks, 10ks, half marathons, marathons, duathlons to sprint/Olympic distance triathlons. And how will I kick off my season? Why with the 115th Boston Marathon of course!

The Boston marathon has always been on my "bucket list" of races and I was lucky enough to get a number  through the Hopkinton Athletic Association. The HAA is a non-profit, 501(c) (3) organization whose mission is to promote the health and fitness through innovative, multi-generational programs.  A few examples of the programs the HAA has granted funds to are: the Leukemia & Lymphoma Society, the Juvenile Diabetes Research Foundation, the East Coast Jumbos (a hockey program for youths with special needs), The Angel Fund (for ALS research), the Dana-Farber Cancer Institute, and the "Marathon Fitness Challenge," (an innovative fitness program for 2^nd and 3^rd grade students). 

So...that means I need to raise $2,750 for the HAA in order to participate in this year's marathon. I've never raised money nor solicited for a charity but I'm asking now. Any amount is greatly appreciated and will get me that much closer to reaching my goal. In order to make donating as easy as possible, I've included a PayPal "donate" button on the top right hand side of my blog. Thanks for taking the time to read the first of what will be MANY entries in my new blog. Now I need to get back to training :)