I know I'm hard on myself. Part of it is due to my competitiveness and part of it is out of fear that if I don't keep challenging or beating myself up over each race performance, or lack thereof, I'll just end up fat and miserable again. Throw in that I hang with some pretty awesome athletes that podium often and there's the extra push to to try and get better/PR/place every time I get on a starting line. Its very easy to not have an appreciation or see what you've I've done when I'm so focused on the next race and getting better.
I've been beating myself up over the last few races and out of the blue I had a dear friend from high school, who I haven't talked to in ages, drop me a note.
"I admire you. I follow your posts and admire the hard work and dedication you have.You push yourself hard, set tough goals and don't give up.What's not admirable about that?...I see you accomplish great things, things that I
know take tremendous daily effort and dedication, and you acknowledge
your accomplishment while setting the bar higher at the same time. You
constantly push yourself to be better...I just hope you look back every
once in a while to see how far you have come and praise yourself for
that, too. What I'm trying to say is: You are pretty stinkin' awesome!"
That honestly, made me blush to read. I don't think I've ever been paid such a compliment, or one that meant so much. I was just blown away. While I think I've overcome a lot, I certainly never thought of my being "admirable". I just think "be the best you can be" before every training event and race. To have someone "outside" the circle of athletes notice and admire what I do and take the time to tell me...made my day...and means the world to me. Thank you LJ, words can't describe my appreciation for your note. I think I'm gonna put my feet up with a good cup of coffee and look over my race times over the last couple years...