Running is cathartic...

A long road indeed...so in the last 3 weeks I've had to deal with the loss of my dad, getting divorced and then helping my mom put the pieces of her life back together. Yes, in that order. Ugh. I literally sat in the living room, drained, upset and not knowing where to go next. Well, no better time to lace up a pair of shoes and go for a run. Running is one of those things that helps center me. It helps me burn off the day, reminds me who I am and allows my brain to process life and a create a plan going forward. Tonight, even though I turned in a terrible run time and felt like I was carrying the weight of the world on my shoulders, I ran all the garbage, anger, sadness and doubt out of me. That run was just what the doctor ordered.

Body issues...

Body issues....one of the tenets of lululemon (for the employees and ambassadors) is to do something that scares you everyday. Well it doesn't get any scarier than this for me. Anyone who knows me will tell you I NEVER take my shirt off...EVER.

But...I was struck by none other than my own my brother (10 years my senior and 60lbs overweight) telling me he doesn't have the time or is able to "have that athlete body like little brother". He's had less injuries than me, he's smarter than me, we have the same genetics but he says I have the build people should want. Me?

I hear the litany of excuses from my brother that I hear from coworkers, friends and everyone else. It can't be done. "This" body comes from my driving myself in the ground training and racing while watching EVERYTHING that goes into my mouth. Because I want to be in the best health in order to have a healthy, better quality of life. And still I don't have that vaunted 6 pack (although I do admit I take great pride in passing those who do on race day). Actually, according to my Tanita bodyfat scale and other scales, I'm at 18% bodyfat. Well ain't that a kick in the head!

I think it's interesting that my female athlete friends can talk about how another woman has better breasts, flatter stomach, or better body...while they look great themselves...but we men can't think or feel the same way. 

Well...I'm 41, I'm a triathlete and this is my body. It's not the body I want. I've broken it. I've healed it (or at least tried my best to). I race 20 plus races a season on it. I swim, I bike, I run, I lift, I do yoga with it. That grin isn't because I'm happy with where I'm at...it's because I'm happy about where I'm going...