Wednesday, March 18, 2015

Dutch 3.0 (although I think I might be on a higher number version by now)

Same skin but 2 completely different people!
My friend Zule suggested I do a side by side image with the one fat picture that exists of me, compared to "me today" after I posted the picture of me on the right this morning before I started one of my briefings for work.  I honestly can't think her enough for suggestion it! It made me stop and look at how far I've come. The image on the left is me from some 6 years ago. I was in a bad way back then...bad marriage, terrible pain from Army injuries, no self worth, 245 pounds (I might have been more but when I hit 245 I stop getting ono a scale and I have no clue what my body fat was back then...but I was REALLY fluffy) and I was "medicating myself" with a sedentary life, medications and all the food I could get my hands on. I was living on the "I was a Ranger/athlete my whole life so know I can relax and just enjoy life" mantra. It was by no means the truth. I had given up on life and decided I didn't care about much of anything anymore, least of all myself.

Fast forward to today...much healthier and finally happy with where my life is headed. Make no mistake, the journey from then to now has be riddled with bad decisions, missed opportunities, self destruction and maybe more importantly...doubt and fear. Doubt in myself and fear that I wouldn't be able to become or have the tools necessary to become the person I want to be. I knew there was a light at the end of the tunnel (I mean there HAS to be right?!) but I had no idea that I would ever reach the end of the tunnel to get past; a bad separation, lawyers, courts, money worries, training hard (too hard) racing (too hard and too often), injury, surgery, family death, a bad divorce, a difficult home sale, family death, bad relationships and the lot...but I'm finally there. 

Look, I'm not where I want to BE yet nor am I in MY race shape but I'm pretty happy with where I am... know it's a great starting point to go where I want. And, and, and I know that I have SO much left to achieve...even at the ripe old age of 43. LOL! Remember, that you have to transform your MIND as well as your BODY. It is important to take the time and realize where you want to be, how you're going to get there...and ENJOY it when you get there! I can't let anyone (even myself) take away from what I've gone through and endured to get here...but I have LOTS more work to do. I have plans for this body, for racing, for my endeavors (I might even get into coaching, personal training, writing and/or more artistic projects) and my future is wide and bright. It's awe inspiring to finally see that. I am a firm believer that you have to make the most of your life and I'm excited that moving forward I will be able to concentrate ALL my efforts on doing so! Never surrender and keep on fighting my friends!!!

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