Tuesday, October 8, 2019

That look when you see it IS paying off

That look on your face, when you’re in the middle of a power lifting session and my workout partner says "damn, flex"... and you see all of the hard work and training and eating is paying off. I mean really paying off. 

Ya, that’s a total look of surprise on my face! And...honestly...I don’t even recognize me. I’ve come so far and transformed myself, skin in and skin out, so much over the last 10 months. And these last 10 months have been a roller coaster of ups and downs. From work to my personal life to my health. I've had some amazing highs (like I thought I finally had life nailed down and was happy and was on top of the world) and some unbelievable lows (that honestly just gutted me, tore my heart out, and introduced me to a level of misery I never knew and that I never thought I'd be able to recover from). It's just crazy. 

Through it all I just kept getting up everyday and telling myself it was all going to be worth it in the end. And I'll be TOTALLY honest and tell you that I knew it was a lie I was telling myself because I didn't think it true at all. I was just trying my damnedest to believe it and get myself through it.

I did really believe I was due for some good karma (because Gods know I've been depositing good karma in the bank for YEARS) and I knew that AT SOME POINT I'd catch a break. I mean, I'd have to right?! And then boom. My work situation is deal-able (looking up even) my personal life gets on track with an amazing person and my body looks like this. And...dare I say it...I'm actually happy. I don't want to jinx it but ya, life is pretty great. And it shows.

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